I am so lucky to have really good friends. I have had a lot of people come to my side over the last few years as I have struggled with a few things. One thing that I still struggle with daily is feeling worthwhile, forgiving myself for the mistakes I have made in the past, and not obsessing over the things I cannot control. In talking with some friends over the weekend, I was reminded that we all feel that way. We all feel like we can't look a certain way, say a certain thing, believe a certain way, etc etc etc. And yet, I have two daughters that I want to feel that they can grow up to be anything, and that their minds, their creativity, their talent, is what makes them special, not their looks. So what can I do? What can we all do? How can I not let my girls feel like their value is in their relationship status and their beauty level? I do have a few ideas:
1. Stop reliving my failure. It is what it is. Learn and move on.
2. Be proud of my accomplishments. Don't pretend to be less than what I am.
3. Allow my personality to be shown. Don't hold back because I think people may not like me.
4. Find ways to continue to grow and excel.
5. Compliment girls on things besides looks.
6. Find stories and role models for my daughters.
7. Give my daughters opportunities to learn, grow, and progress.
8. Expose them to successful women.
9. Teach girls that all choices are okay and available, and it does not have to be a competition. Mommy wars are so damaging. It makes me sad. Stay at home moms are wonderful. Working moms are wonderful. Married moms are wonderful. Divorced moms are wonderful. Etc Etc
10. More than anything I want my daughters to know that people are people. Just like MLK, I have a dream that people will be judged based on the content of their character, not if they are black or white, or male or female.
Sorry to wax all philosophical tonight. It's just on my mind today.